Godly Dating Principle #8: Accountability is Key

Pure Intimacy: God's Design for Sex

Dating couples need a game plan: When I typed out these words as an idea for an article on abstinence, I realized this was a difficult topic to get people talking about. When I asked my peers to share their stories, few were virgins with no sexual history, and even fewer wanted to talk about it. Recounting my own sin made me feel like the chief of hypocrites. Yet, at the same time, I knew couples who did it right.

They met, fell in love, christian dating accountability partners and waited until they were married to have sex. There seemed to be a special connection between them that made me wonder, How did they do it? It started me on a quest to discover what I christian dating accountability partners "practical abstinence. And that seems to be where many Christians fall short. You've been told why you shouldn't have sex datinng marriage, but did anyone actually tell you how?

You can't jump into dating christian dating accountability partners expect that sexual temptation won't be an issue. You need a game plan: God created us as christian dating accountability partners beings. Genesis tells us that He made humans both male and female in His christian dating accountability partners image. He christian dating accountability partners them, and one of the first commands He christian dating accountability partners them was to "be fruitful and multiply" Genesis 1: So, sexual desire christian dating accountability partners a big deal to us, because it was first a big deal to God.

It is a gift, but it needs to be managed cchristian, which is exactly where we're having trouble today. We're a generation that's almost marked by a lack of self-discipline. We spend too much, we eat too much and it seems as though our sexual appetites have no christian dating accountability partners. We must learn how to say "no" to our sexual desires even if it's unpopular and difficult. For advice on this, I checked in with Dr.

Jessica McCleese of the Krist Samaritan Center in Houston, Texas. She has studied Christian sex therapy christian dating accountability partners the last four years. McCleese noted that much of our issue with managing desire is that we've made our desires too important. In reality, our sexuality is only a small piece of who we are. When our sexual selves are the focus, we lose who parters are as whole people.

If we can learn to see ourselves body, soul and spirit, it becomes easier to save christain whole self for marriage," she says. Truth is, even in marriage, you have to rein in your sexual desire and allow it to be fulfilled with your spouse in a loving consensual encounter. Part of christian dating accountability partners and learning to bring your sexual desire under submission is simply training ground for marriage.

Managing sexual desires begins with realizing that matchmaking ground forces can't do it on our own. Every couple needs someone who will speak into their relationship. Accountability partners can rob temptation of its power. When I asked my friends about their relationships, it quickly became clear that the couples I knew who saved sex for marriage had christian dating accountability partners thing in common: They had accountability partners or mentors.

Jason and Danielle Peaks. Both in their 20s, they dated for a year before getting married, and they found christian dating accountability partners talking about their relationship with people they trusted made all accountabklity difference. We had my parents check in on us many times. We also had a few couples that we spent time with who would prod into our situation. Jason is a worship leader and dota 2 rating matchmaking at Regent University in Virginia Beach, Va.

So he accoubtability eyes were on him, which he believes helped him stay accountable. As the leader in a dating relationship, a man has an important responsibility when it comes to making and pqrtners a game plan with his girlfriend. The primary way of doing this is by initiating conversations about physical boundaries and casting a vision for a relationship that honors Christ. Viticus Thomas, one half of the married couple behind Dating and Waiting, a ministry that promotes abstinence, advises young men to not make sex a focal point, accountabllity to instead point the relationship in a better direction.

One way a man can do this is by paying attention to the kinds of dates he plans. Don't add more temptation by always being alone. Jason Peaks agrees that a relationship out in the partnesr helped him and Danielle stay pure. No laying or lounging on couches or beds. When temptation arose, Jason says he showed leadership by taking 2 Timothy 2: Obviously, much of abstinence is about each person having self-control. Passion can build inside of you much like stress or tension can, and it's important to control that passion before it controls you.

For some that means avoiding sexually charged movies, books, television and anything else accontability puts you in the mood. Some couples are mindful of the words they say to each other or how they sit with each other i. Set your boundaries, discuss them with one another and stick to them no matter what. So where does this leave all of those who have already messed up? For couples who have slept together or have other regrets, it's important to know that you can always put your relationship on the right path.

The first step in getting back up after a fall is repenting. Repentance is not just saying you're sorry and asking for forgiveness. It is a turning away from sin. It means changing the way you behave, from re-evaluating how much alone time you spend together to choosing to end date nights earlier. Healthy couples sometimes have to set and acvountability their boundaries. This is also another area in which other people can help. Sit down as a couple with your pastor, mentors or accountability partners, and talk about what's going on.

I found in my life that sexual sin was a heart issue, and I needed to spend less time dating and more time with God. Mentors can help you as a couple decide whether or not you should break up, but no matter the outcome, you as an individual need to seek after God to renew your own spirit. Live by the Spirit not only as an individual, but also as a couple. Attend the same church, if you can, so you're sitting under the same teaching.

Get a Philippians 4: Jeffrey Murphy says, "When a person develops their spiritual life in Christ, through Bible study, prayer, worship and fasting, they have the strength necessary for defeating the enemy of our souls. A life lived inwardly from the Holy Spirit is our strongest defense. When pleasing Christ rather than our flesh becomes a priority, abstinence is a restraint based not on rules, but on genuine love and respect for yourself, your God and your future mate.

Principles For Christian Dating ❃Mark Driscoll❃