The Myths and Realities of Dating With Borderline Personality Disorder

What You Need to Know When Dating Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder

Access to lived examples via blogs and social media means people are chipping away at stigmas every day. On the other, more chilling hand, personalitty constant feed of experiences means interpretations of illness can be easily warped. Despite what these sites want you to believe, mental health disorders are not pretty, decorative, or glamorous. Having BPD is like living in a bubble floating in a hazy world of detachment.

The central issue somekne that BPD is based around feelings. BPD is more than your standard fragility. Those were both me. While there are few apt, direct portrayals of BPD in broad society, representations manage to creep into common consciousness through TV, film, and music, leaving the public, at least subconsciously, more aware of the disorder than they may realize.

While these representations are regularly problematic, there are some that seize the essence of BPD and help to communicate its existence, flattering or otherwise. Primarily embraced by various forms of media check its extensive TV Tropes pageit also manifests itself in everyday life. When it comes borderlime Borderline Personality Disorder, the trope is a prime example of the ways in which women suffering from the condition memoirs dating someone with borderline personality disorder dismissed out of hand for experiencing emotions that may be extreme, but that are nonetheless valid.

At 17, we should memoirs dating someone with borderline personality disorder been exploring ourselves and each other, but he was hacking down my walls while I stood back and burned bridges. After our affair flamed out, it took a number of years for me to even consider opening up again. Impulsive actions, another defining feature of BPD, also popped up in my relationships. But, as the heady world of BPD will teach you—it happens. When dating, I spent most of my time memoirs dating someone with borderline personality disorder similarly reckless impulses, like the day after my ex boyfriend dumped me and I eyed my phone maniacally, dialing his number on a bi-minutely basis, thankfully never giving in to letting it ring, but certainly wasting time I should have been using to focus on my as yet, six years later, un-handed-in thesis.

Or the time I mixed impulsive behavior with another, far less discussed aspect of BPD—hypersexuality—by ordering a man off the Internet. Before Tinder was a thing, before I could confide in any friends without fear of being judged, before it was socially acceptable, I trawled that online dumping ground, Craigslist, looking for dick. I only did it once, at the peak of a BPD spiral, feeling dank and musty and unloved and unwanted.

The knife went unused; we both left unsatisfied. In five years time, where will we be, eh? While awareness of triggers has improved borddrline quality of life tenfold, often a self-fulfilling prophecy kicks in. Dating with BPD requires work. He listens and I try to talk. When we sokeone good times are happening, we try to live in their ephemerality, while bad times just have to be tholed with as much mutual support as possible.

Memoirs dating someone with borderline personality disorder and understanding will lead to fairer portrayals in the media, and then navigating the waters of BPD dating will be more manageable for everyone involved. Which is to say, we need a little less Dennis Reynolds and a little more substance. Kirstyn is a freelance writer and journalist living in Edinburgh.

Her work has appeared in The List, Bustle, and Luna Luna Magazine. She loves fries more than life, spends too much time wishing she had a dog, and is writing a book about the hilarity and otherwise of living with Borderline Personality Disorder. SEARCH Search form Search. The Myths and Realities of Dating With Borderline Personality Disorder. Share on Facebook Share. Share on Twitter Tweet. Select additional lists by disotder the checkboxes below before clicking Subscribe:.

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Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder A Model of Emotion Regulation